Drowning

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I'm drowning into the feeling.
And I hate it!
It feels suffocating and absurd that one day, I'll have to let it go again.

I am feeling lonely right now.
Embracing myself because no one would be there to do that for me.
I want to be strong but I'm missing him so badly.

Its been weeks, and only a week triggers already my fears. I didn't know since when did I develop this kind of fear but I'm afraid for myself.

Just how can you feel broken when you are loved ?

With all my honesty I gave my heart,AGAIN.
And I'm dying inside to how am I able to ever do that again. When I thought I had enough self-love to be selfish enough, he proved me wrong that I couldn't give love more than I thought I could ever be. Just when I thought I was strong enough to control my emotions, I became weak when I'm around him. I'm starting to think he's wearing my adrenaline rush every single time.

This is just the beginning. There will be more days where my trust and faith in him will be on question. Not because I'm afraid he'll cheat on me but because I was afraid for myself to get so attached and dependent to the point where I'll be seeing myself pushing him away in my life.

Let the odds test how strong our relationship will put us. And let God be the center of this realationship enough to make me feel secured and loved utmost.

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