Too much Pain

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Doing what is right in sacrifice of my own happiness is the toughest decision I've ever met.

I don't know how long the agony will take. The pain that never go away and I think as the day passes by it made me realize what we as a couple regret the most for not taking time ..to feel the joy of being young lovers, for not spending so much time with each other and for not being faithful and trustful at the same time.

Some instances show me the reasons why we didn't end up together for a lifetime commitment but how come that my heart doesn't wanna believe it. Why is it so hard for the heart to forget? Why do destiny have to take us apart when we're very sure about our feelings and where are we going SOON?

My brain understands but my heart can't accept.

The fact that I've been smiling and laughing in a day is a torture. Whenever a song struck my playlist, someone's playlist or even the tricy or jeep radio is on, I feel a unbearable PAIN. So much pain I just wanna end up my life. I've been crying every night, thinking until when can I endure the pain? When do I'll stop pretendin' I moved on? When does my heart will stop loving him?

I can't take another heartbreak. I'm afraid of being in love again, feeling like I'll be losing that guy too just like him. Feelin' like I can never trust him for he had crashed my whole trust in every guy I will meet. And I'm afraid to love for I start believing Love doesn't last because even an almost perfect relationship will also end up in a break-up too.

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