ANXIETY

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Inaatake nnaman ako ng Anxiety ko. Pagod na pagod na ako umiyak at matulog. Okay naman ako kanina pero ngayon kung anu-ano nnaman iniisip ko. Minsan di ko narin alam bakit ang bigat bigat ng dibdib ko. Bakit lagi nalang ako ganto?


Gusto ko ng makakausap pero hindi ko alam kung sino. Lagi naman akong walang kausap. Haha. Ang pathetic ng buhay ko. Laging nasa isip ko baka wala naman makakaintindi sakin. Baka makaistorbo lang ako. Baka isipin nila nag iinarte lang ako. Baka sabihin nila Oa lang ako. Kasi bakit nga ba? Bakit ako ganto? Okay naman lahat diba? Pero bakit naiiyak ako? Bakit nasasaktan ako? Bakit natatakot ako? Bakit ang lungkot lungkot ko? 


Hindi ko po ba tlga deserve sumaya? Ilang taon naman na Lord. Baka naman pwd niyo na ako pahilumin. Alam ko nasakin din ang problema. Hindi ko mapatawad sarili ko. Nagpapanggap akong okay na ako pero hanggang ngayon takot parin ako. Takot ako kahit sa maliliit na bagay lang na magpapapaalala sakin ng sumpa. 


6 na taon ko ng pinaparusahan ang sarili ko. Ang hirap hirap maging totoong masaya. Sana lord, kunin mo nalang ako. Alam ko naman na naging tapat at mabuting anak ako sayo. Sa piling mo magiging panatag ako. Pagod na po tlga kasi ako. Pagod na akong mag isa at maging malungkot nalang parati.Pagod na po ako.

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