PAIN..

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 2nd entry for the day.. I just need to burst this out.


I'm starting my year with a heavy heart because the people whom served as my inspiration in striving hard and being a good person are the people who brings so much pain in me. It is then I realized that I am more than happy being away from what I consider my own family. I can't find to smile genuinely around everyone. I can't breath properly when they're around. My heart is constricting every word they said because I then now realized they only see me when I have something. They only see my worth when I bring honor and material things to them. I don't have them when darkness, failures, downsides and sadness comes. I am no one's favorite. I am all alone when I am not worthy to them. It is only fair to say strangers loved me more than they do at times like this, when I have nothing to be proud of, nothing to give them anymore. I am barely a living creature surviving to please people who don't love me. Pathetic as it sounds, you'll only see who was there who love you genuinely at your down times. Only then you'll realize that pain from your most loved ones is the greatest heartbreak you'll ever feel in your lifetime, not the one coming from your 'love life'.

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