Paranoia
When you know you're no longer a priority? I guess I should've been used to this long time ago. It's been years yet it still haunts me.
"You'll never find someone who will love you like I do."
And I guess that became my curse. I'll never have that kind of man again in my life.
People will judge but I started not caring. I felt love but I decided not to entertain the feeling more. My whole system have been mess since that day I say "I'm tired. I wanna end this up" when in reality I wanna scream "I still want you in my life!"
And I accepted my faith. I'll always be taken-for-granted. A friend will always scold me for being that smart girl who knows a thing but would still pursue until she gets tired of it. I guess I am that coward enough to admit that I mess things up, so badly.
Who cares? I'm done. So much done with Boys playing over my feelings that I decided to play with them too.
When I get tired, someday hopefully, I wish to just marry myself. It is so hard to find love when I don't know myself. Been there but I realized it is so much harder to play Love when it hits you real bad.
Sometimes I wanna blame him on why he keeps on letting temporary people enter my life. When he knows my heart is still weak, when he knows all this time that I'm still hurting, when he knows that I'm still trying to understand things and that is when he let someone ruin everything again and again after I hardly built my confidence and self-love.
"You'll never find someone who will love you like I do."
And I guess that became my curse. I'll never have that kind of man again in my life.
People will judge but I started not caring. I felt love but I decided not to entertain the feeling more. My whole system have been mess since that day I say "I'm tired. I wanna end this up" when in reality I wanna scream "I still want you in my life!"
And I accepted my faith. I'll always be taken-for-granted. A friend will always scold me for being that smart girl who knows a thing but would still pursue until she gets tired of it. I guess I am that coward enough to admit that I mess things up, so badly.
Who cares? I'm done. So much done with Boys playing over my feelings that I decided to play with them too.
When I get tired, someday hopefully, I wish to just marry myself. It is so hard to find love when I don't know myself. Been there but I realized it is so much harder to play Love when it hits you real bad.
Sometimes I wanna blame him on why he keeps on letting temporary people enter my life. When he knows my heart is still weak, when he knows all this time that I'm still hurting, when he knows that I'm still trying to understand things and that is when he let someone ruin everything again and again after I hardly built my confidence and self-love.
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