Damaged

1st of July.
Tweet Post: "I'm not okay."

Sometimes admitting that you're sad, you're not totally fine and you're hurting is helping. Sometimes you have to remember that you are flawed, you are human and you make mistakes.

For the past days, I'm scared.
No regrets, just scared.
And I wish, I have the courage to tell someone.
I would like to talk to my Ate Carla but I'm thinking maybe she's tired and she doesn't have time but would like to try. At least.

I'm scared, not because I'm afraid of the judgments of people around me but of the consequences I would face once it was real.

And I hate to admit it was a mistake.

Now, I'm all alone in my own misery.
Alone because nobody cares coz nobody knows.

I'm still scared. I'm still doubtful. I'm still damaged. And I'm still crying myself at night until I get to sleep.

It was hard. So hard to promote self-love and self-care when you're still in the process of healing the wound from the past. But I know and I hope someday, I will get through this.

I keep myself busy enough to forget how sad I am. I keep building my own empire to prevent people from reaching my point of self-destruction. Unintentionally, I create barriers from the people that adds value in my life from the people I love. Not because you love people doesn't mean they deserve to be in your world.