The Minimalist Diary

I always love the sincerity shown in actions. I don’t care about the face, the money or the fame. They are all a shallow reason for me to fall in love. I always fall into the consistency of feeling in love. I always found myself drown into the idea of being in love with a man who knows how to put an effort to make me smile, to make my knees go weak and to always take my breath away, keeping all the insanity in me scattered. The idea of feeling his breath at the side of my face, the heat behind me and the warmth I felt while enclosed inside his arms. Just that moment alone is perfect for me. How I wish we could snuggle under the stars in the sky at night telling every details of our every day and future plans. To have an unspoken agreement of being together while achieving our goals set before we had our US. I don’t know when did I start imagining things before I go to bed and wake up with the feeling of possibility of seeing you today. You got me the moment you spoke. I don’t ca...

I am a bird with broken wings. I want to fly yet I’m afraid for the hard fall once the pain strikes. I’m afraid I can’t make it through my destination and get stuck in the forest full of predators. I’m afraid I can’t fight the odds along the way, including the air that should be in my favor. I’m too afraid. Too many people watching my every step, waiting for my downfall. I’m afraid to make them happy, to give them reasons to mock me and suddenly I realized, are they my haters or my fans? They keep on waiting there, waiting so they could create a story with ending I haven’t started yet the journey. Too much attention I’m getting when they have they own lives to be fixed. Yes, I am broken. I am weak and I am imperfect but do I deserve the amount of time everyone is taking just to watch me? I pity this people. If only I could teach them to be productive at their own craft, maybe I could make the world better. I’m afraid for myself because I’m letting this people live in both my two ea...

”Kung mahal mo talaga, wag mong iwan ha? Wag na wag. Antayin mo, hanggang sa mapagod ka, hanggang sa kaya mo. " At napagod nga ako. Tuluyang sinukuan ang pag-asang .. magiging tayo. OFFICIALLY. Hindi ka mahirap mahalin, sadyang nakakapagod lang. Dumarating talaga ako sa punto na mapapagod, magpapahinga at kinabukasan magpapakatanga nanamang muli sayo. Yung magagalit ako pero isang ngiti mo lang at tukso okay na ulit. Nakakaewan pero anong magagawa ko? Mahal kita e. Dalawang taon tayong ganito, in between ng magkaibigan at magka-ibigan. Tayo ba? Oo? Hindi? Ewan? O ako lang talaga tong nag-iisip na may tayo kahit wala naman talaga? Sabi nila TAYO. Sabi ko EWAN. So sa choices na binigay ko, iisa na lang ang natitira. HINDI baa ng sagot mo? Kasi kung Oo, ano pala to? Ano pala yung mga tinginan, mga hawakan, lambingan, asaran at tawanan? Wala lang ba sayo to? Nakakabobo e. Pagod na ako SM. Sana maintindihan mo kung isang araw magbago ako at malaman mong hindi na ikaw ang lala...

Today is May 9, 2017. I was imagining before that in 2 years we’ll gonna’ pass that ‘Just Friends’ status but look at us now, feeling strangers to each other, being civil and don’t care about disappointing the expectations of people around us. Pathetic how I found myself secretly stealing glances of you when you’re not looking. Assuming as I may sound, I caught you doing the same. Haha. I don’t really understand why you didn’t even make a move on me. You once said, “umiibig ako”, attached herewith is my picture. You’re always confusing me, may it your actions or your words. You always ignore me when I’m the one approaching you, but found you being pissed off and hurt (according to my brother) when I’m the one ignoring you. You’re being jealous when I’m at someone’s crib having fun and all, posting a group photo with other boys but you are not telling me to stop. Damn you boy for always confusing the hell out of me. Miles apart with no communication and living life, separately! T...