The Minimalist Diary

People come and go .. Dati pag-iniiwan o naiiwan na ako, UMIIYAK AKO. Masakit eh. Yung talikuran ka ng mga taong akala mo ay laging nasa tabi mo sa mga oras na masaya, malungkot, natatakot, nagdiriwang, nagtatampo, naglalambing, at kung anu-ano pa pero iiwan ka rin naman pala. Ilang beses na ba akong iniwan? Marami na kaya hindi na bago sa akin to. People come and go. You must learn to accept that not everyone will stay forever in your life. You must learn to be strong enough para pag-iniwan ka eh nakakatayo ka pa rin. However, value and appreciate those who stays and never left. Love those who truly cares and never surrender on you despite of your unwanted attitudes. Nobody's Perfect! kaya nga may concept ng "death" eh kasi hindi lahat ng nasa mundong ibabaw ay magsstay forever. Sabi nga, "The only permanent in this world is CHANGE." INDEPENDENT ako. Yan yung lagi kong sinasabi. It doesn't mean na nagrebelde ako sa magulang ko kaya natuto akong mag-is...

I rule my own Life ! I am independent! Independently thinking. And I am thankful for having a supportive mother along the way of my development as a fine young lady :) She trusted me in making decisions. She let me decide on my own but not in a way na pinapabayaan niya na ako completely. Yeah. She's not perfect. She was a Monster in my eyes at times,growing up feeling like I've been controlled. So I became .. a Perfectionist. I became selfish, greedy, and mean. Everybody hates me in my Elementary years. An honor student who only excels in Academics, only learns the lessons written on the book, reported by my teachers and read in several books but never learned the lessons in life that living in the society tries to teach. Sometimes I feel like I devoted my childhood years gaining perfection not realizing I'm too young to deal with such mature decisions such as how am I going to be successful in life. I failed many times, afraid of what my mother would say, I invent...

"But you're very lucky Shiela. You were able to experience precious feeling. You're lucky to have Renz and Renz is lucky to have you." Am i really lucky ? Ang makakita ng lalaking ka-match ko sa lahat ng bagay? Ka-mismatch ko sa lahat ng laban dahil lagi akong talo ? Maswerte nga ba ako dahil nakakita ako ng lalaking inaya akong mahalin despite my flaws? Maswerte nga ba ako dahil nakakita ako ng lalaking nanatili sa tabi ko kahit nagbabago na ako? Lalaking sinulit lahat ng pwede niyang maging role sa buhay ko? Mapa-Tatay na wala ako, Kuya na Overprotective sa only sister niya, Mortal Enemy na laging panira ng araw ko, Bestfriend na ginagawa kong Punching Bag pag-galit ako pero siya rin namang magiging Crying Shoulder ko pagtapos ko na ilabas lahat ng sama ng loob ko, at Boyfriend na kahit sobrang hirap ng Long Distance Relationship ay never kong naFeel na wala akong Boyfriend na malapit lang sa paligid ko. Maswerte nga ba ako dahil kahit sobrang manhid ko , napadam...

I haven't seen this coming. I don't even expected na makakausap ko sila ng ganito. Like we are talking about dealing with relationships, proper way of treating your partner or even the smallest thing like proper way of holding a girl's hand or asking questions about your partner having a crush on other. Wow ! How grateful I am for having them. Who? My Boy and Girl Friends! They're just great people who you'll think only knows in life is to focus on their grades, being on the Dean's List or simply being .. PERFECT. Grabe ! Hanggang ngayon windang parin ako sa mga narinig ko mula sa kanila. That feeling na akala ko alam ko na lahat kasi I've been through A LOT of relationships(when I say A LOT, its really that number that you can't count alone using your two hands, XD), but then having those conversations with them last night opens me up into MORE things to be learned in dealing with relationships. The conversation just started from a joke .. from M...

Messy hair, oily face, dry skin, scars and flaws I had, I'm imperfect inside and out. Short-tempered often lead into a tiger growling and a heart melting thereafter. Words that comes out in my mouth often became mistakes and regrets. I'm sorry for being like this, Imperfect and with flaws. I'm insecure, lack of confidence and don't know where I'm good in. I can't tell anybody where I am good co'z I'm afraid to be put in shame when I failed. Despite of this things, I never have imagined in my life that I'll find someone like him. He accepts me wholeheartedly, accepts me for whatever insecurities I have. I am this grateful knowing there exist a person who can kiss me on the forehead while sweat is falling, able to kiss me on the cheek when my face is so sticky and hugs me like I don't smell a foul from all the tiring day activities I've been involved in. For my boy bestfriend who would have take selfies with me when I'm at my 'h...

When an almost perfect relationship end up, the blame is always put on the boy. Is that really fair ? When after all, he also has a feeling? Whether he falls out of love, cheated on her or dumped her, he one's love her too. I loved and been hurt. Give everything yet it still wasn't good enough. Felt cheated on but give trust once more. Yes ! There's a regret. I am not that fool to make myself believe I wasn't hurt after all. Yet, I listen and had prayed to God, whatever happens after this, I wish to retain the old us. Yes, I know there will always be some scars left but I realized it is the best way to keep us. After all, nothing could beat the BESTFRIENDSHIP I had with him. Still, the best memories I'll surely treasured for the rest of my life is with him. If things didn't go complicated, I'll still choose him. Yes! Tell me I'm a bitch for being so much in love with a guy who has been MARRIED NOW. He supposed to be mine. I'm supposed to be the o...

I'm always OUTDATED. ALONE. Left-behind. Out of Place. Not Belonged. And always a SECOND. But what makes me standing still strong is that GOD is with me always. i feel him in many ways. He's guidance, his grace and love. I always find myself marching on my own drum, cared by people I thought would leave me when Hard times comes and Loved by someone who will never fall out of love of me whoever comes in his love. I am always blessed with the perfect timing, beauty, opportunities and courage. Atleast I have reasons to live. :) I've been tough through times. GAin confidence and self-esteem that makes me weak before. I am his Precious Daughter whatever happens. I am Loved and accompanied by his soul when I feel like no one wants to be with me. I'll survive. I have him. I know. I'll never lose any fight with him. I Love You my Lord. My Saviour. My strength and my everything. Today I offer my heart and soul into you.I'll trust and loved you. Please always ...